graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We all have pain, don't forget that Last weekend, my aunt and uncle joined us for dinner. After dinner, my mom, my aunt and I were in the kitchen cleaning up, with my aunt at the sink washing dishes. Her back to us, my mom mentioned that she ran into a classmate of my aunt's whose son had just died. He had been sick for a few weeks in the hospital, but my mom ran into this woman either the day he passed away or the day after, and the woman told my mom that she just didn't know what to do, so she was leaving town. Going to her cabin in the mountains. This man was married and had 2 kids, so I assume there was a wife and family behind to make arrangements. My aunt, never turning around, just kinda lost it. She thought that was totally inappropiate, both the action and the reaction of this woman. My aunt and uncle lost a child years ago. It's almost never spoken of. Their daughter was killed the first week of college in a car accident. I guess I was 6 or 7 years old when it happened, I still remember observing my mother taking the phone call; she was cool as a cucumber. Like she always is. Like me. You can imagine how startling it was then, when my aunt suddenly said, "You don't know what it's like to lose a child," to my mom. "You don't know, I do." My mom silently agreed with her. I said nothing. The debate continued with my mom quietly defending the woman's right to handle the situation any way she could and my aunt insisting that the woman was out of her tree. I said nothing and kept wrapping up leftovers. Suddenly, something happened that never happened before. My aunt asked me, "Don't you think it was strange, Grace, this woman not staying around to bury her only son?" I think she had momentarily forgotten the last few years of my life. I think most people have, including around the country. I paused and they were both silent, waiting for my response. Without looking up, I said what came to my mind: "In the last few years, I've observed a lot of people grieve. More than my share. I've also grieved myself. And the one thing I learned is that everyone has their own way of grieving and coping. It's not hard to die, it's harder to survive those who die." The room was silent. I walked out. 4:03 a.m. - 2006-06-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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