graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Closing the door Let's get this done. So the situation with the monster is over. He ahh...hooked up with an old friend of mine after I left my local bar this weekend. She didn't know what my deal was with him, but then again, neither did I. So that cleared everything up. I kicked him to the curb. It was a pretty good kick too. I stood up for myself, for once. I'm proud of myself, really. I put everything out there on my end, covered my thoughts of his end for him and well utilized words like dick and asshole, plus forever wishing to make a grande exit, I achieved that goal with a well-used "douche!" So that's done. It sucked, I'm not going to lie about that. I took myself out early Saturday afternoon and I drank like a man. It was the only thing I could think to do. And there I sat, throwing back shots of Jim Beam and chasing them with beers. Alone. While crying with my head down. It wasn't a pretty site. I called this other guy I know, this really amazing (and gorgeous) guy, and he must of heard the desperation in my voice because after my second shot, as the tears just took over, I heard someone walk into this tiny pub I had holed up in, and I saw him and his trendy fauxhawk-ed, perennially kickass geared self walk thru the door with a bouquet of daisies for me and I just lose it. Then my other two friends showed up with candy necklaces for me and thenmy best friend showed up and suddenly, I am drunk and laughing and we are drinking at 2PM and celebrating what from this point forward, they all agreed, would forever be known as Grace-day. I had no money left and they all gave me money - it was ridiculous- and we went to another bar and we drank more and ate a bit. Some left and others came. I was on watch, never to be left alone, apparently. Someone bought me a double shot of Jameson's and I did it. Good night Irene. My other neighborhood guy friend, after we spoke and I told him what happened, left his parents place in CT where he was visiting and took a train in to meet me. It was him who had to steer me home early into the evening. Someone gave me some pixie dust and in my drunkeness it exploded in my handbag. We did that. And he and I hung out and talked. I went out again but it wasn't fun anymore. I was somewhat sobered and everything stuck me as tired. Me, this place, my rap. Everything was tired. I saw some old friends on Sunday night. I wasn't myself. And I drank water. So that's it. I'm just...done. Not depressed, not sad, just tired. Tired and a little bit glad this situation is finally over for good. I feel like that book is finally closed - it was never closed the first time around because I ran away from it 2 years ago - the chapter is finished and maybe now...maybe now... Maybe now I can on with my life and start something new. 10:11 p.m. - 2005-03-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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