graceland's Diaryland Diary

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Carving my own seat at the table

Today I had a big meeting. Like the kind in "Working Girl," with the bitchass woman heading a big company and the corporate giants and network bigs in suits. And then me, Tess.

I saw what was evolving. The other company was moving toward taking our piece of the business to their side and I knew what I had to do. Sitting at this giant boardroom table on someone else's turf, not even being acknowledged, I jumped in. Heads turned. At first my voice shook a bit, I had the disadvantage of being a new player to a game with players that had been in motion together for months but I knew this was my only chance to hold onto the business and I did it. I pre-empted the other company's bid and laid out my strategy, developing it as I spoke and laid it out in executional detail to paint the picture. I left no pieces for them to pick up. One of the suits turned me and said, "What was your name? What company are you with?" when I finished.

It was the turning point of the meeting. From then on everyone turned to me when they spoke, including the Sigourney Weaver character who turned to her number 2 and whispered in her ear when I began speaking and the number two, in turn, whispered down the valley to her number 3. I watched them and continued to detail my strategy.

It was a big moment for me. I'm not sure what I did, but when I left, there was a line of suits waiting to speak with me individually post-meeting.

I really felt like I had done something. Like I had gained ground and people noticed. It was exciting.

I came home tonight after dinner with an old friend and I looked in my mirror and I was surprised when the thought entered my head that I am pretty. I think I am pretty. Weird.

Tomorrow I have to head out to the Hamptons for a weekend with my girlfriends from college. I'm exhausted thinking about it.

It's been a big week.

9:05 p.m. - 2004-08-19

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