graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was mistaken Be careful what you ask for because it just might come true, isn't that what they say? This dude I used to hang out with broke up with the gf he dated after we hung out and showed up at my apt tonight when I was having a BBQ. The whole story of how he found out is too convoluted to even get into. He showed up, he creeped me out, he refused to leave, we got into a fight, then he changed tactics until I finally shut it down and booted him. The fucking drama. About how I am withdrawn and don't communicate. Then he tried the "I wasn't there for when he broke up with his gf," which I shot right down. An announcement that he was sleeping over which I denied. A refusal to leave. Asking me to have another beer. Then to have a cigarette. Demanding that I sit down and talk. Refusal on my part. I start to clean up, he tries to help following me around. There is a stare down. I ask if we are having a stare down. I ask why we have to fight. He says he doesn't want to fight. He starts hugging me. I pull back. He apologizes for fight starting. More hugging. He asks if we can hang out, I say no. More hugging and I recommend we end the night on a high note. He laughs and starts saying that he learned the gf was a mistake and that it was wrong. More hugging. I recommend he leave. He starts going upstairs. I redirect to the door. Stalling at the door. Suggestion that we have another beer. More debate on why I don't want to have another beer. Him talking about how great our talks/times were when we hung out. I recommend again that the night ends on a high note. Another hug. Hands out. I ask what he's doing, he says he wants my hands. Hand holding at the door. "What? So now we are holding hands? I have to go," I say nicely. He starts in with the eye staring and about how I am a strong woman. I am the strongest woman he knows. Another hug. I say don't want to do this. I'm another person now. I am tired, I say. I want to go to bed. Go home to your bed, I say. What I wanted to say is, go home to your bed. I don't heart you anymore. I don't even like you right now, especially as I watch the familiar ways that you manipulated me. I am better off now. You think I am strong, you don't know the half of how strong I am. Get out of my life, once and for all. Leave me with the pleasant memory of what once was and be gone. You are not the man for me. I was mistaken.
1:41 a.m. - 2004-08-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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