graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- College! I was thinking this weekend as I laid upside down on my brother-cousin-friends couch that my theme song is "Should I stay or Should I go" because the truth is, if I stay it *will* be trouble and if I go, it *will* be double. That's just the way it is. I remember when I was little, and an insane child, overhearing my father laughing and talking to the adults who would laugh at something I'd done as he'd say, "She's a handful." In high school, at a tennis match, I was back by the fence to the courts lifting a ball with my racket up my leg to my skirt, getting ready to serve, and overheard one of the other parents speaking to my father saying, "They say your daughter is a holy terror, I hear our boys talking about her, looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I didn't hear his response. I didn't really want to. I rarely acknowledged her boys again. I guess you'd think things would change. I'm going to be 31 soon. I've kinda started over. I have a career, I ditched everyone from high school when I went to college and I ditched a lot of people from college when I graduated. I've always been a big fan of moving on. As much as I move on though, things don't change within me. Tonight I showed up at this chi-chi thing my University threw at one of the Ivy League clubs in Manhattan. It was for the outgoing President of the University. Small crowd, money. That's what my school is about. I walked in late and the President was speaking and as I slid in the doors, I heard a corner of the room all stage whisper my last name as the older alumni turned to get a look at me. Just like college. I turned around and it was a group of people from classes ahead of me. I don't even know people younger than me from college. It's somewhat strange to realize that I always hung out with the upperclassman through school and never returned the favor. It was totally weird being there with everyone again. I found myself reverting to my old ways. I hung out with the upperclassman and my friends from college and didn't acknowledge the people I didn't like. Some of them tried to come up and break into the group and say hi and I just turned my back. Just on one girl who was a raving lunatic and a gossip. I always hated gossips. Those people talk about everyone else because they have nothing to contribute themselves. So yet again, I was out with no money and everyone buying me drinks. I had a good time. It was good to see some of those people. Giant blinding diamond rings with all the girls in designer black and their signature Tiffany/David Yurman jewelry, I turned to the group of them as I stepped out ahead of them from the elevator and I said, "Jesus Christ, you people look like you stepped out a WASP funeral, did JFK Jr. die again? I didn't get the memo." They looked at each other and started to giggle as I walked out of the building and headed to the next bar. It was so college. 11:27 p.m. - 2004-04-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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