graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My thoughts on the anniversary So yesterday was September 11th. I always end up feeling guilty after September 11th, because I don't do any ritual that day. I don't take moments of silence, I don't go mass and I don't watch TV. Even though I push it out of my mind, I know it's September 11th on that day. If I wanted to, I could sit back and close my eyes and remember the events of that day exactly as they happened to me. I can remember how perfect the weather was, where I was when I heard about the first plane crash, how the news had so little information when the second plane crashed that I walked up to the terrace on my skyscraper office building and I looked south at the skyline and listened for clues as to what was going on. I could really think back and look at 36 or 48 hours after the first plane hit. I was awake for almost all of that time, and more. If I did that, I would remember how near to that tragedy I had been. Filing a missing police report numbered "027". We were the 27th people to file a missing person report that day. That's all, just 27 people. Imagine how many were filed after that, including for people who were evacuated elsewhere and didn't return home for 24hours and had no way of notifying their families that they were alive. The phones were down. I remember when the phones went down - I think it was around 11am - and we couldn't figure it out. "Verizon was located in WTC #7, right? Was #7 hit?" And then the rumors, the speculation of a third attack. I emailed my brother to tell him I was alive and to ask for information. We were holed up in our building waiting for instructions on what to do. We could look out of our windows, down at the street, and see hundreds, thousands of people walking in the car lanes. There were no cars, just people. Moving fast below. Heading North. I guess I just don't know what to do with September 11th. I think of that day almost every day since it happened. If I don't think of what happened, or who close to me died, I think about the anticipated next attack. Will I accidentally be in the wrong place at the right time? Will I survive? Will I be injured? Will I luck out again? I'm happy that some bloggers defer and remember the victims as they should be remembered. Individuals. Almost 3000 people like you and me. Each with lives that were intermingled with so many other people/relatives left to survive them. 10:23 p.m. - 2006-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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