graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Getting the car detailed for the ride of my life I don't know what the eff those last two entries were. They were written during vacation week, which makes them moot. I was drunk and carrying on and high from the freedom of not working. I've regained my senses. The most important thing is that I have a new, brighter outlook. I feel like things are going to fall into place and I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I joked with my friend, "I'm in love with love." I finally feel some fucking peace in my life. The last few years have been one mistake after another. Literally. And sometimes not after another - sometimes the mistakes overlapped each other. Which is fantastic, if you can boil up overlapping distasterous circumstances in your life like I can... I'm free of all that shit. The real test comes in a week or so. I have to go to a party that the Monster may be attending. I haven't seen him since he left town over 6 months ago. Almost a year ago, actually. I can't believe that much time has passed. Shite! I'm not going to lie - I am not looking forward to seeing that dude again. In fact, I'm close to dreading it. I'd just as soon forget he ever existed. Unfortunately, this is something I have to suck up and do for another friend. Beyond that, I'm getting my head back on straight. I'm going to get my living quarters squared. Look at some apartments and move before June 1. Alone. I should live alone. Then I'm going to get my work in order. I may quit my job and freelance. And after that? After all of these things that an old friend said to me today when we spent the day lollying about Brooklyn, I keep as problems to avoid sorting out the big picture? After I take care of these simple changes that are easy for me to make but I keep about in order to avoid focusing on the real problem? Well, I guess after that, will be the time I grow up and face relationships. 11:01 p.m. - 2006-03-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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