graceland's Diaryland Diary

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Sorting out life

So I've been hanging out with this guy friend alot. We don't hook up. He's hooked with a friends of mine in the past; no issue between us, we were just friends.

Things are strange now. What the eff is going on?!? We became friends because I had a relationship drama. So did he.

Something has changed between us. I'm confused.

My past would suggest cutting him off. My relatively new outlook veto's the cut-off. My current state of mind is Taoism - let what will happen, happen.

So that's it then. Things are happening as they are happening. I've finally confided in the right person.

The thing about this friend - that I want to note - is that I trust him. I don't trust anyone with everything. Periodically, I disclose information about me to select friends. I've disclosed a lot with him. No idea why him.

I confide in him and expect him to be scared and back off. My stories are effed; he's not. I'm never going to find someone who can handle what I've experienced and be normal. I've thought a lot about him not being scared; I've met tons of guys, they always get scared and they don't know 1/2 of what this guy knows about me.

He's stronger than me. He's tuffer than me. I've never met anyone stronger than me. It's a relief. It is a giant, f*cking relief to know that person is out there because I've been picking up the pieces for as long as I can remember and it's nice to know that someone else is there to rest on for a bit.

Now if only I could find someone like that who hearts me...

11:52 a.m. - 2006-03-12

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