graceland's Diaryland Diary

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Three states in three days

Let's see. Birfday dinner for a friend in Manhattan on Friday night. It was sweltering. Absolutely horrific. Couldn't drink from the illness of the night before, called it an early night and was in bed by midnight.

Saturday morning, I wake up at my 5am to my period and learn that I have no tampons. Not a single one. So in my pajama's, I have to walk 5 blocks to the all night pharmacy and buy tampons. All of the bars were letting out and guys where being drunken pigs as I am walking down the street bleeding. I wanted say to one of them, "Shut up, I'm bleeding right now," but I thought that might be inappropriate.

I went back to bed after addressing the situation and overslept. I had to leap out of a bed at 1PM, throw some clothes on, back a bag and run to catch a train to Philthy unshowered. That was unpleasant.

My tooth, which needs a root canal, decided to absess overnight and with no time for an emergency dentist appt., I had no choice but to take some old pencillin which I know I am allergic to, with a Benadryl to combat the allergic hives and advil to relieve the cramps, before leaving nyc. Essentially, I passed out on the train. I could barely walk myself off the train and there I am, crawling through 30th street with luggage, losing blood, tooth aching and body fighting to stay awake while I got myself to my destination. I was a mess.

Upon reaching my destination, I took some more advil and smoked some pot, hoping to remedy some of this pain while adding to the sluggishness. Then I showered. The evening out was sedate but fun and I started to wake up around midnight.

That was around the time that my drunken friend sitting behind me engaged in a conversation with a neighborhood skinhead. I eavesdropped on some of the conversation as he explained that skinheads are just "working class people" seeking to "take back America." I almost fell off my chair.

I hate to even say this, because I loathe skinheads, particularly American skinheads who rarely know what the cause truly stands for anymore and consider a badge of brotherhood, a club, rather than the mark of racism and ethnic/religious cleansing that it truly is, but he was friendly. Almost jovial. That was, of course, because we were all fair with light eyes. A buff Asian guy walked in and I braced myself. I glaced down at my wristcuff made of safety pins and played with it for a moment, wondering if I would actually have to use it. I really would rather not. I've seen the handywork of skinheads. They rarely travel without mano weapons, things to help pack their punches like spiked steel balls on chains, brass knuckles, steel tipped boots and chinese stars. They made some nice work of few friends of mine in high school. Ironically, my friends were of pure German decent and lutheran too boot, but like I said, the American skinheads are simply a fight club with no education behind the actual mission of the sect, and perhaps that's a good thing.

They welcomed the Asian, he was one of them. Bizarre, but maybe the skinheads are branching out. God knows there aren't too many pure of blood left in the states. I really didn't get involved in conversation with them.

Leaving the bar, the skinhead said goodbye to all of us, and as it was unavoidable, I said goodbye and he extended his hand to me. The last thing I wanted to do was shake his hand, but truth be told, we had about 5 dark blocks to walk home and nothing on me to protect me but my bracelot. So I made nice and shook his hand. With my hand in his, he grabbed elbow of my right arm with his free hand, both turning my arm up and exposing the pristine uninked white of my forearm and then turning it argain so that his forearm was exposed to me, displaying his mark. An inverted crucifix with a skinhead crucified. Some lettered markings into the crucifix, had I looked longer, I would have been able to identify it - probably a quote from Marx or Lenin. I didn't need to look, I had seen it earlier out of the corner of my eye and I recognized it.The point of this exercise was not for me to look, it was a simple test. First to gauge my awareness, to see if I knew what he was, to make clear what he was, to see if I had any fear of it and then to let me know I was approved. I simply stared him in the eyes and straightened up. I could feel his friends watching us. I didn't like it. I wasn't sure why I was given the test. Possibly because he had tested the others in conversation and I kept my back turned.

After a few seconds of this hold, he smiled a giant smile and wished me a good night. "Hope to see you again here, we'd like to get some locals like you guys and keep the hipsters from taking over." "Maybe," I replied.

I turned to walk away. My group was filing outside, I brought up the rear. My ears were pricked to listen for following footsteps. I had seen them take someone else outside earlier for a "discussion." I didn't look back, just straightened my shoulders and walked slowly.

My brother and I left Philly early and went down the shore for Father's Day. I got fried on the beach. It took me forever to get back Sunday night.

And that's pretty much the story of three states in three days.

8:21 p.m. - 2004-06-21

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