graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bible is not US Weekly I hope you readers know that you are ogres. You really are. I thought I lost you ogres by closing down my previous journal, but clearly you've found me. Like finds like;-) Bitches. All of us. Fair is fair. I *am* always restless. Some sharp scholar could get a government grant to chart my restless stages for science. It's very possible that I will never be satisfied. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It will keep me working, trying to best myself. *~* Almost everyday when I leave work, I walk into my bosses doorway and I thank her for having me, like I was a guest at a dinner party. That makes the group laugh. I can hear a chuckle from down the hall when I do that. Other days I say, "Ok, that's it for tonight. I'm here all week!" Tonight I said that and my boss looked up for her desk and said, "There's a two drink minimum, or at least there is for this department." She's good. Usually after a vacation or a long weekend, I sweep in and say, "Against my better judgement, I've returned." This has caught on though, because now they prompt me on that, "Grace! You've returned!" and I say, "Yes, against my better judgement." I take my work personally, or at least I used to. I work hard because I have standards and my standards are higher than any a supervisor could set for me. Likewise, I like to make it personal for the people who work for me because I believe that if my team likes me, they won't want to disappoint me by dropping the ball. That's my approach to work. I say I used to work like that, because I don't do that anymore. I'm sick of making my work personal to make money for the man. I'm tired of bleeding for my job. I'm just an employee to them. Their hearts aren't into the work, they are devoted to making the machine bigger to increase gains. I need a job that means something to me personally. I'm not talking about saving the world here; I would never pretend to be so righteous. I just want something that is exciting to me and a person/place that is excited by my work. I have that with the work I've been doing on the side, but that's not enough to break out on my own. Last week I found myself in a bar, senselessly arguing with my best guy friend that the Oscars are just as important as the Nobel Peace Prize. I argued that both are recognitions for supreme achievement among industry, and who is to say that an entertainer who is able to move an atheistic, hedonistic society to feel compassion and empathy for another person, place or thing is contributing less than a figurehead who alleged ended apartheid or whom allegedly brought peace to the middle east only to sit by two years later to watch his government turn a blind eye to terrorism? I heard myself saying this and even as I pushed to support my argument, I had doubts about what a stranger I had become to myself. But it wasn't until I heard myself say, "Mother Theresa was a fraud - easy to give it all up when you are a wealthy woman," that I knew I had to change my life. Fast. This business is brainwashing me. The bible is not US Weekly. And that, my friends, is the impetus behind the change. I can see my destiny from this vantage point and it's just not the right ending. That's why everything has to change, right now. 10:02 p.m. - 2003-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||