graceland's Diaryland Diary

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Impetus for Change

I think the primary reason that I don't consider myself a New Yorker is my disdain for NYC in the summer. Somehow, I got it into my head that a New Yorker is someone who loves the City in the summertime. They relish these months when everyone else clears out and they have the landmarks and the top restaurants and the public transportation to themselves.

I have always loathed New York City in the summer. I'm a beach girl and my heart will always reside at the Jersey shore, where I can't step 10 yards in any direction on my 4 block beach without running into a childhood friend, an aunt, an uncle or a cousin. It's not about driving at the shore and there's no public transportation to speak of, it's about wearing worn flip flops and Ripcurl and Roxy and riding my Beach Cruiser bike.

I feel a little bit guilty, having lived in NYC for 8 years now and still being that small town beach girl. I read somewhere recently that if you don't get out of NYC after living here for three years, then statistics double indicating you will stay here for your lifetime. Prior to this, I was always comfortable with the theory that 10 years of residence makes you a New Yorker. I am rapidly approaching 10 years.

I still don't feel like a New Yorker.

I love New York in the fall. As the trees turn in The Park, and the air is brisk. Street vendors start selling warm, candied nuts again and you wear a light sweater to sit at the sidewalk cafe's to eat and drink.

I don't know when I'll feel like a New Yorker, if ever.

That and the fact that I just love Philly. I love the lifestyle in Philly and the traditions, like the Mummers. I love my Philly sports teams.

I guess that's part of the reason I just don't know where to go from here. To start, I don't where to live. To finish, I don't know what to do.

What I do know, is that it's time to leave my job. So, I'm leaving.

It's time for a change.

9:50 p.m. - 2003-07-21

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