graceland's Diaryland Diary

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You Got a Friend

A friend of mine is working on a new template for me. This information is for those of you who've logged your complaints about my Fisher-Price-My-First-Template.

~*~

So I've been really busy. Last night, after a long and busy day at work, I decided to stop into my local bar and say high to my friend, the owner.

He asked me about my friend A-girl. She had come in there looking for me on Thursday night.

A-girl apparently had what she would deem an emergency. She had a miscommunication with a guy she went out with on two dates and decided is the man she is going to marry, resulting in the postponement of their plans for that evening. Never mind that it's her fault because she missed his text message and picked it up too late. This,apparently, is reason for an all points bulletin.

She called my work immediately after I left, around 7:30PM. She tried my cell, but the battery was dead after unexpectedly staying overnight in Philly. She called my apartment and left a dire sounding message that my roommate told me about upon my droopy arrival and then played for me.

I, however, was beat-down, dog-tired, and went immediately upstairs to bed. As I was getting into bed, the door buzzer sounded and my roommate answered. It was A-girl. She had gone to my local bar to find me, waited while having 1 drink and then decided to head directly over to my apartment and wait until she was either let in or I arrived home.

This is what I'm dealing with. So here I am, working on about 10 hours of sleep over a 48 hour period, crawling into my bed only to jump at the sound of a knock at my door.

There was no avoiding this. I opened it and stood draped in darkness, staring at one desperate single white female. How do these people find me? And WHYYYY????

I had no sympathy. "Listen," I said. "I got your message and there's nothing I can do for you. You missed the call. You will reschedule. In the meantime, I just came back from a 12 hour bender in Philly, slept 5 hours last night and worked an 11 hour day in the same clothes I traveled to Philly more than 24 hours ago. I need to sleep."

"Okay," she says. "Can I come in for 5 minutes?

What the hell do you say to that? I feared a stilletto through my eye if I uttered no.

*sigh* "5 minutes," I replied.

It was 10 minutes of some tough love. "You're crazy, you know that right?" I asked. "You're completely insane. You are totally over-reacting. You've got to chill out. He called. You missed the call. This is your error. Let it go and he'll call you back tomorrow."

There was some "But..." and an "I..." and general pouting, and then she was ushered out of my bedroom.

Shortly upon her exit, I was verbally beaten by a few of the cousins and too exhausted to even respond. I listened as the descriptor's flew: "selfish," "bitch," "bullshit," "crap" - lots of that describing me. I took that for about an hour of back-and-forth, and then after some resolution to the misunderstanding, attempted to go to bed.

Then something happened that hasn't happened in a long time. I heard that screaming my head.

It started back in the drug days when I was coming down and then evolved to occur when I was stressed. I would go to bed and hear my own voice in my head screaming phrases that were said to me during the day that made me feel badly about myself. The screaming builds and builds, laying insult over insult in louder tones until it feels like my head is going to explode. It hasn't happened in about 2 years. Until Thursday night.

I tried to clamp my hands over my ears and rolled around. Finally, it stopped and I fell asleep.

I woke up irritable on Friday morning; it was not a restful sleep.

Friday, I headed back to Philly, fielding desperate calls from A-guy who was in the process of breaking up with his psycho GF and starting to lose ground. I spooned out some cell-phone moral support. A call came in from A-girl to let me know that I was right, everything with the guy was fine and they had rescheduled.

I met the cousins and everything was fine. We partied until late and then I drove to the shore with Toastress.

Immediately upon reaching the shore, I went to bed.

The weekend involved a giant amount of relaxation.

And that's what I was telling my friend the bar owner, last night. Well, not all of it. Just the highlights.

9:11 p.m. - 2003-07-16

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