graceland's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whirlwind Holiday Blizzards Basically everyone I know has told me to get rid of the dude. Some people have taken to calling him The Monster. As in, when I walk into a room, I am greeted with "Good Evening Dr. Frankenstein, where is your monster?" Direct quote. He *is* somewhat of a monster. And I do somewhat adore that about him. He has absolutely no interest in speaking with anyone except me and he doesn't care if he is perceived rude. I was beginning to think he was a bit of an elitist and then I probed it and realized that he's completely oblivious, has no idea that he is being a complete dick to everyone else out with us. And then I'll say something, like suggest he speak to one of my friends, and he will sigh and somewhat roll his eyes upward and then turn to me with a smile like a gameshow host and go speak with my friends. In (his) tanked mode on Friday night, I suggested that we should just take a break. Everytime we start to hang out, it gets gigantically tense after a few weeks. It's the sexual tension. My friend A. thinks I should just f*ck the guy and be done with it, but it's too complicated to do that. It's really f*cking complicated. M.I.T-complicated, for me, at the moment. Back to Friday night. I suggested a break because I can't stand this cat and mouse we play any more. It's driving me insane, completely out of my mind and making me frustrated with him. I think he misunderstood what I meant by cat and mouse because he said it will never stop. That we will always be like this. And then he told me that I can try to split again, but he's not letting me disappear. "Just when you think you've made a break, I'll be waiting on your doorstep, two steps ahead of you." That made me laugh. He was so hammered, he could barely get the words out and we both know that when I want out, I can be such a miserable bitch that I can make a saint bleed from the eyes and laugh. However, the attempt at stalker lunacy tickled me. It was a perfectly psycho comment, and I can appreciate that. It's almost...endearing. He's as crazy as I am. I appreciate that, but I still don't think anything is going to pan out with this. We should probably work on just being friends and scale back on the time we spend together. Beyond that, it's like Anarctica in New York. What else...I sat next to one of the dude's from Maroon 5 getting my haircut a couple of weeks ago. I went on a bit of a tear at the end of the last week/weekend. Freaked myself out on how overboard I went, so I'm backing down. This escalating situation with the guy just worked me up to the point where I had to go out and feed the demon. And that I did. Night after night with little sleep. At the end of every night, when I was pretty much geeked to the gills, there he was, old reliable, tracking me down. Hanging out with me while he could barely keep his eyes open. With no clue whatsoever of the impetus behind my bizarre manic behavior. Just reporting for duty. If he didn't think I was crazy before this weekend, he must now. This situation is going to force me to communicate. I sense disaster coming. Gotta love the holidays. 8:35 p.m. - 2004-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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