graceland's Diaryland Diary


Hello Again

Oh why not?

Sometimes I think we say goodbye so that we can say hello again sometime down the road.

So, hello.

But why?

I've been feeling especially old lately. More so than my typical "I'm getting old" panic attacks.

I'm not sure when it happened, but it did.

Maybe it was my Father's death. Or the move. Maybe both. Doesn't matter now. I'm here.

Tonight I had a party. It's been a while since I've thrown a party, probably 5 or 6 years.

It was a bit of a wake up call.

My light doesn't burn as bright as it used to. Wait. I mean, It burns...a bit. Enough light to draw a few smart, clever moths. But my light used to burn like a bonfire. Wild and leaping, burning the sky. Something you had to stop and watch. Mesmerized. Caught in it. Compelled.

Now it's more like those cheap, flickering window candles you buy at the Big Lots at Christmas.

I guess this is the deal, we burn brightly and we fade. But I'm not really down with that. No. I have more fire to show. I have a peacock's arrangement of fire to present.

I feel weird and different, but I think I have a second act coming. You'll see.

2:35 a.m. - 2013-02-10


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